welcome to a season of sweetness.
life is busy, challenging, exhausting, and so incredibly sweet.
I am where I need to be. it is a good feeling.
I am growing. and "learning to roar"
so many interesting dynamics come with fresh instillation of identity.
there are some hard things right now, but it is a fight I am ready for
how can you change the world, if you don't impact the people around you?
Why should you wait to start, if you can rock something here and now.
I am learning to love people, coming in a revelation of others love for me
funny how that is ooh so necessary.

P.S. it is fall outside. and it smells like leaves and goodness. and looks like a rainbow ralfed all over the trees. enjoy that. i am going to climb a tree before class. here i go.

much love for you.
-bflan

.us.

how sweet the days
before parting ways
these two hands
were but one
my feet fall alone
no longer echo follows
no heart keeping time
with this pump here of mine
my warmth is only my own.

and so a new season begins.
i am leaving for school in less than eight hours
not going far, but its far enough to make it
inconvenient to come home,
there are hearts here I will miss...but I am starting
to have some good anticipation about going..
which i can say i wish i had earlier...but i am glad they are here now
I spent my last day in the burbs celebrating my birthday
with lots of quality friends from all places. AMAZING.

off to sleep. morning will come tooooo soon
much love to who ever is still reading these ;)
i feel xanga has all but died...but I still need a
receptacle for thoughts from time to time.

off to my floor of estrogen. wooo?

i feel as though we are built in conflicting pieces.

like our heads and our hearts have trouble residing in the same place.  one often in conflict with the other. why have we been made this way?

my head says one thing, that my heart can not claim as truthful, but what seems right for one, is crushing the other

is there no middle ground?

(these are mine:)

.love me only.

we grow up in this
illusion of strength
the societal promise
that strength
means power
power means money
and
money means prestige

this strength
translates
into a reckless independence
a disregard
for the damage we inflict
for the simple boasting pleasure
of the independence
of the fight
sacrifices made
hearts, dreams, desires
laid to the wayside
as this power,
this independence,
rises to the top
this ladder up

will be our downfall. 

*************************

.dichotomy.

drops pounding down
a rhythmically perfect symphony
pounded out
cars, asphalt, faces, backs,
windows, doors, all things exposed

bolts of lightening
illuminating
all that lies below,
thunder seeming to answer
this perfect symphony
with a flawless harmony
dominating the sky,
these three
bringing
the dichotomy
of
strength and beauty

in awe,
this storm rages on
in perfect balance